Decree

Everything is made of toast. Doesn't matter... rye, spelt, white, white, cracked wheat, rolled wheat, crutons, it's covered. It's all just toast. You man are toast and to toast you shall return. Even bacon is made of toast. Furthermore, nothing can move faster than toast. Given that everything is toast this is not as complicated as one may initially believe. Toast is simply the limiting factor in the universe. Until this thing called a photon came along. Now it's claiming the thrown. The idea being that photons move faster than toast. Which I won't believe until I see it.

Contradictory perhaps, but nobody is going to convince me otherwise. Photons or no photons. All I got to say is that until I open my eyes all I got to eat is toast. Which is a fine feast. Unless you're a complainer and malinger of all this toasted creation.

Heh, word just came in that these photon things have a speed limit. Toast has no speed limit. In fact it communicates faster and beyond the ken of the light limit. Smoke that Einsteinian physics. You lose. Toast has one. It's very existence being one of show and disproving that light is fastest. In the end, there can be, only one. Its name is toast.