So there is a cat in Providence, RI. Normal.
This cat can tell when the soul is about to leave the body. AKA Death. Also Normal.
The news outlets are astounded. Again... Normal.
Science will investigate. Normal.
Why oh why is this news? Maybe if this cat could talk and claim to be a tulku incarnation of a long dead lama it would totally be news. Since cats don't talk yet... it's not a newsworthy story. Even it the incarnation part is totally true. I'd totally be renaming the cat Bardo as well. Cats with the ability to span worlds named Oscar? Maybe if he was in movies that would be a good name, but it's a sad horribly demeaning name for a pan-demensional being such as this.
Warning: do not read further.
Ok, you're dumb. Now you pay. How long before super sensitive CAT scans are used to read the brains of cats and provide synthesized speech output of their missives? I really really should start this company now, get rich and retire. Everybody wants to know what their pets are thinking. I can tell you though... Oscar he's thinking one thing.... "get the hell away from me". Then when he senses someone is dying and won't be around to ignore anymore he switches to "pay attention to me". Maybe I'll just make a nice shiney box with lights and an LED display. It switches between the two messages based upon a proximity detector built into a special collor that the cats are required to wear in order to "scan" their brain-waves. Nobody will be able to tell the difference between the two-state thing and a real CAT scanner. It'll save a lot of time and development effort... and ultimately lower costs so everybody can have one and know exactly what their cat is thinking.
"Food."
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2 comments:
It should be obvious to scholars of deamonology that this "cat" is in fact a Class II soul-sucking demon, which has chosen to manifest itself in this dimension as an innocent feline who "predicts" when nursing home patients will die, when in fact the demon is responsible for killing the patients. The life force it is able to harvest from someone about to die is minimal, but sufficient to sustain the demon as it prepares to expand its sphere of influence. A nursing home provides the perfect cover for the demon, where people are expected to die daily.
So sayeth Dracula X.
Delivered, sealed. Signed For.
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