Lathe

Discs made of tholin are spinning around at least one star out there. Which means its everywhere. Kind of like plastic bags in the ocean. Though they are not everywhere, just in the big eddy in the middle of the pacific. It is like the trash compactors on the death star, but without the floating metal. Wookies too I suppose. Can't have those floating around choking up nature with all that hair though. However, as astute and erudite readers of this blog will note, an anti-conservationist, nor anti-animal rights stance is ever taken to be sacrosanct here in this the edge of the trash-heap. Rather, than grinding, burning, rendering, resale or deconstructing of wookies the clearing of eddies would be most appropriately handedled by vats full of nair hair removal product followed by weeks of intensive tanning bed sessions. Said wookies would then untilize their innate talents and become pit bosses at the finest casinos found this side of San Paulo. Indeed this would create a win-win situation for all involved. Trash would be free to swirl about the eddys and drain down the hole in the bottom of the pacific (rumored to be near the abyssal plain of Lemarche) whilst many formly soggy and semi-drowned wookies would now be free to enjoy entertaining evenings watching I Love LUcy re-runs on their new 56" plasma televisions. However, like any magnificent plan their are small, trite and nearly inconsequential downsides. In this case the requirement that broadcast cable be required to support emergency alert messages in the wookies native langage. No big deal. One would think. One would think further and realize that the bandwidth and character encoding is simply insufficient to the task. The consequences of this may not be obvious at first blush. Taken from a larger perspectve however, say a large hurricane, hypothetically named Nutria is bearing down on the city of wookie pit-bosses, when all at once an alert and helpful member of the government decides to use the EAS system to broadcast a message to flee the approaching storm and attend the super bowl in the soon to be inundated and flooded stadium. This is when it all breaks down. The bandwidth demands exceed the transmission capacity of the system due to multi-byte character encodings spread across a rather verbose and drawn out monosyllabatic language derived for grunting and slug killing, not for communicating the impending disaster approaching from sea and sky. This is why all the wookies must continue to tread water in the middle of the pacific. Sometimes things in life are not fair. Though I like to see it as a positive. Wookies will perhaps become the preeminant treaders of water in the universe. Something I'm sure which will no doubt impress you whilst simultaneouly making you jealous. So is the way of things. Most especially floaty things caught in a circular pattern going round and round and round. Ploink.